I no longer want to call myself a Kpop fan
I no longer want to expect nothing less than perfection of somebody that I will never meet personally.
I no longer want to impose my stupid standards to people that I don’t know.
I no longer want to judge and subsequently ostracize people because they committed an error, which is a human thing to do.
I no longer want to categorize people as idols or gods, because they are mere mortals, just as me and you.
I no longer want to put myself in a pedestal and judge hardworking people by their errors because, honestly, I’m not better than them.
I no longer want to feel the need of defending my favorite group by bashing and hating on others.
I no longer want to describe ‘idols’ as if they were products that I could buy, and I could easily get tired of as well.
I no longer want to feel betrayed when one of my ‘oppas’ gets in a relationship or gets married, because, for starters, I never had a chance to be with them in a romantic relationship.
I no longer want to put my group under the pressure that they must be the best and that they must be constantly winning awards.
I no longer want to feel disappointed when my favorite group doesn’t win the award that I feel they deserve.
I no longer want to treat ‘idols’ as if they were my property.
I no longer want to see the entertainment world as a utopia, and blind myself of the dark side that said world clearly has, which terribly affect the singers’ and actors’ states of mind.
I no longer want to be a person that could easily turn my back on somebody when they do something I don’t consider ‘correct’.
I no longer want to be a person that contributes to the pressure that these ‘idols’ have to endure in the entertainment industry, and that could be the responsible of sleepless nights, stress and depression.
I no longer want to see more cases of suicide in the Kpop scene or in any other entertainment industry in the world.
I no longer want to be as naïve as to think that they are okay, that they are happy, that their life is bliss, just because that is the façade they show in music shows and tv programs.
I no longer want to assume that somebody is okay because that is the face they show me.
After I heard Jonghyun’s passing, after the huge shock, I felt so terribly devastated. How can somebody that apparently is successful and that has a bright future ahead of himself commit suicide? Of course, this only tells us that money and fame are not everything in life. What truly matters, which I believe is family and love, is something that idols lose touch with, because of their hectic schedules and because of fans standards (this only regarding to love). Jonghyun’s decision is a statement, is proof that society is corrupted, is proof that the expectations and priorities that society hammers into people’s minds are not correct, because they do not include family, friendship, and love. Because family takes time away from us to work, friendship is only a façade because we must compete with everybody and trust no one, because love doesn’t exist.
Its also true that the entertainment industry, especially in Korea, does not give any kind of protection to its singers and actors, because it reduces them to mere products that have to constantly produce money. The objectification of idols makes that the industry does not care for them in a human level, the industry just worries (if it is the case) for the physical state of the “merchandise”, so it stays functional and is still wanted by the consumer. Taking all of this into account its clear that the industry needs a huge change, but that is not only the thing that needs to change, the consumer, the fan also needs to change, because at the end of the day we are the ones who feed the industry, we are the ones who help to objectify human beings. At the end of the day, if we like it or not, we as fans contribute to the idols’ suffering.
Therefore, I no longer want to be a delusional kpop fan, who wants to support people who have to stop being human to satisfy my stupid egoistical standards. I no longer want to contribute to the death of valuable beings, of people who want to achieve their dreams of becoming artists, but get themselves into a position in which they have to sacrifice their wellbeing in order to satisfy their fans, people that they will never meet personally.
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